are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp
is pronounced Jackson.
all else fails
There are still parts of Wales where the only concession to
gaiety is a striped shroud.
- Gwyn Thomas.
WALES - from the Welsh.
WALES - with every 5 gallons.
Welshman is a man who prays on his knees on Sundays and on his
neighbours all the rest of the week.
are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a
man when he goes for a walk.
vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but
otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
two doctors, my left leg and my right.
father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent
still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to
think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to
read and all the friends I want to see.
best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she
pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons
left in the tank.
you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the
let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking
is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the
expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the
satisfaction that he isn’t any better off; and, finally, the
surprise at everyone’s being worse off.
who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do
like love; it always finds a way.
Tommy this an’ Tommy that, an’ ‘Chuck ‘im out, the brute!’
it’s ‘Saviour of ‘is country’ when the guns begin to shoot.
long as war is looked upon as wicked, it will always have its
fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to
prepared for war is one of the most effective means of
the winners decide what were war crimes.
highest joy is in victory: to conquer one’s enemies; to pursue
them; to deprive them of their possessions; to make their
beloved weep; to ride on their horses; and to embrace their
wives and daughters.
Genghis Khan (1167-1227).
I couldn't be dafter,
keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a
war instead of after.
curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain
parts of New Jersey.
don't want to use the army, I should like to borrow it for a
-Abraham Lincoln, to the hesitant General George B. McClellan.
given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my
get involved in a land war in Asia.
idea of all-out nuclear war is unsettling.
lose this war, I'll just start another in my wife's name.
Moshe Dayan, Israeli General.
object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the
other poor sons-of-bitches die for theirs.
Covenants without swords are but words.
release of atom power has changed everything except our way of
thinking... the solution to this problem lies in the heart of
mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker.
great war leaves the country with three armies - an army of
cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves.
world has achieved brilliance without wisdom, power without
conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical
infants. We know more about war that we know about peace, more
about killing that we know about living.
Everyone's a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian
best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.
a man who grins when he fights.
think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is
not a crime.
war, there are no unwounded soldiers.
women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be
Pentagon official explaining why the U.S. military censored
graphic footage from the Gulf War
would end if the dead could return.
tragedy of war is that it uses man's best to do man's worst.
have war when at least one of the parties to a conflict wants
something more than it wants peace.
Jeane J. Kirkpatrick.
release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has
merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing
Albert Einstein, Atomic War or Peace, Atlantic Monthly,
fear cloaked in courage.
William C. Westmoreland.
going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
Dwight D. Eisenhower.
who has ever looked into the glazed eyes of a soldier dying on
the battlefield will think hard before starting a war.
draft is white people sending black people to fight yellow
people to protect the country they stole from red people.
Gerome Gragni and James Rado, 1967.
Grand Old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men.
His case comes up next week.
hath no fury like a noncombatant.
Charles Edward Montague, Disenchantment.
wish to be brothers, drop your weapons.
John Paul II.
of battle is a day of harvest for the devil.
object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the
other bastard die for his.
I know not with what
weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be
fought with sticks and stones.
- Albert Einstein.
Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without
Jaw-jaw is better than war-war.
never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts
already catered for within the scope of any respectable
History is littered with wars which everybody knew would never
may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his
friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child...
But personally, I'd mud wrestle my own mother for a wad of cash,
an amusing clock and a sack of French porn!
bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least
they can find Afghanistan.
the world ruled and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to
journalists and then believe what they read.
is always referred to as ‘she’ because it costs so much to keep
one in paint and powder.
Chester Nimitz, American admiral.
wars are popular for the first thirty days.
Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.
make for better reading than peace does.
slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you
least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's
left of your unit.
Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.
sick of war for many reasons,
of them will do:
this is Waterloo.
them go up,
cares where they come down,
not my department,
Wernher von Braun.
wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those
wee red knives.
pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write
- Marty Feldman.
President Bush promises we will only be on Mars for a couple of
months, until they are capable of self-rule and democracy.
see a bomb technician running, follow him.
Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death....I Shall Fear No
Evil. For I Am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.
the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base, Kadena, Japan.
water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky.
an old carrier sailor.
ship can be a minesweeper......once.
who beat their swords into ploughshares will plough for those
it possible to have a civil war?
beer; not people.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
the marines - intervene in the country of your choice.
the Army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet exciting,
unusual people, and kill them.
doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
Ahhhhhh…..I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
rather go whoring than warring.
beer, not people.
did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
Remember, in nuclear war, all men are cremated equal.
‘Disarm Today’. - dat arm tomorrow.
up an embassy. - join the SAS.
hi-ho, it’s hand grenades I throw…
Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than
Washington - Hubbub of the Universe.
never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732.
of us, I suppose, are a little nervous of the sea. No matter
what its smiles may be, we doubt its friendship.
water - fish fuck in it.
that wishes to learn to pray, let him go to sea.
Nixon before he dicks you.
fan of President Nixon. I worship the quicksand he walks on.
we learn from Watergate,
almost any creep’ll
glad to help the Government
Overthrow the people.
always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of
miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a
trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often
for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.
weather forecast for tonight: dark.
knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a
conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
best kind of rain, of course, is a cozy rain. This is the kind
the anonymous medieval poet makes me remember, the rain that
falls on a day when you'd just as soon stay in bed a little
longer, write letters or read a good book by the fire, take
early tea with hot scones and jam and look out the streaked
window with complacency.
Susan Allen Toth, England For All Seasons.
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your
Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book.
here is the weather forecast. Today will be muggy. Tomorrow will
be Toogy, followed by Weggy, Thurgy, Frigy, Saddy and Suddy.
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
so cold, the wolves were eating the sheep just for the wool.
It’s raining cats and dogs.
know - I just stepped into a poodle.
who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
does the white go when the snow melts?
does marriage and a hurricane have in common? They both start
off hot and steamy, with a great deal of heavy breathing, and
once they’re over your house and car are gone.
are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and
wild, then leave with
your house and car.
the similarity between a hurricane and an Alabama divorce?
Somebody's gonna' lose a
is the Mexican weather report?
today and hot tamale.
was a communist named Rudolph. One day he looked out the window
and said, "It looks like a storm is coming." "No it isn't," said
his wife. "Besides, how would you know?" "Because," he
responded, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and
called from the hospital about the four casts.
What did the one tornado say to the other?
Let’s twist again like we did last summer.
What happens when fog lifts in California?
do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather?
He's got bugs on his teeth.
What's worse than raining buckets?
is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for
learning how to grow in rows.
Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there
is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear
make no mistake: the weeds will win; nature bats last.
Robert M. Pyle.
gardeners will agree that hand-weeding is not the terrible
drudgery that it is often made out to be. Some people find in it
a kind of soothing monotony. It leaves their minds free to
develop the plot for their next novel or to perfect the
brilliant repartee with which they should have encountered a
relative's latest example of unreasonableness.
Christopher Lloyd, The Well-Tempered Garden.
next to the road:
person's weed is another person's wildflower.
President of the United States, 1913-1921
Wilson’s mind, as has been the custom, will be closed all day
George S. Kaufman
way to fight women is with your hat. Grab it and run.
would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without
falling into her hands.
woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without
even considering if there are men on base.
woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it
ain't necessary to mention any names.
women go wrong, men go right after them.
like silent men. They think they're listening.
every older lady is a younger lady wondering what the hell
≠- Cora Harvey Armstrong.
refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
gynaecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a
politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
anything done, ask a woman.
now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job,
not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with
children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or
- Tim Allen.
girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time
takes it away.
Laurence J. Peter.
woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to
disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife
woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with
her sexual organs.
me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man.
know that people call me a feminist whenever I express
sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.
Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without
the neighbours seeing.
knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your
body starts falling apart.
I like a woman with a
head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
- Steve Martin.
to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly.
pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is
a man who hopes they are.
Chauncey Mitchell Depew.
man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of
get laid, but women get screwed.
are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't
want to own one.
expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right -
Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton).
have been trained and conditioned by women, not unlike the way
Pavlov conditioned his dogs, into becoming their slaves. As
compensation for their labours men are given periodic use of a
an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to
disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no
President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses'
secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his
wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described
a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Woody Allen, Getting Even.
know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
women go wrong, men go right after them.
find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
are nothing but machines for producing children.
intended women to be our slaves. They are our property.
would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I
have not yet been able to answer the great question that has
never been answered: What does a woman want?
prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that
there may be a wife someplace else.
chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are
fatter than she is.
would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Bette Davis, about Jayne Mansfield.
not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.
should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment.
Barry, Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn.
men desire is a virgin who is a whore.
are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.
Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook.
believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so
you can look up her dress.
end of every party there is always a girl crying.
are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
women because they always know where things are.
The charms of a passing
woman are usually in direct relation to the speed of her
- Marcel Proust.
who wear zippers shouldn’t live alone.
Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.
and women, women and men. It will never work.
woman is speaking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes.
never pursues a man; but then, a mousetrap never pursues a
Brigands demand your money or your life, whereas women require
the sort of woman who lives for others - and you can always tell
the others by their hunted expression.
never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Friendship among women is only a suspension of hostilities.
Antoine De Rivarol.
the word tongue feminine in Greek, Latin, Italian,
Spanish, French and German?
allurement that women hold out to men is precisely the
allurement that Cape Hatteras holds out to sailors: they are
enormously dangerous and hence enormously fascinating.
glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first
movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony.
are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but
push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected.
always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry
about the things women remember.
matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit.
created orgasms so that women could moan even when they are
guns, trucks and beer who needs women?
What do you say to a girl with no tits?
not “A” bitch. I am “THE” bitch.
should be obscene and not heard.
Support Women's Lib - make him sleep in the wet patch.
a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
girls get minks? - the same way minks get minks.
woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
guys….just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to be
the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
more I learn about women, the more I love my Harley.
difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can
negotiate with a terrorist.
difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Lipstick.
are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her crap.
up in women’s lib.
get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman
talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
wife got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud
does a sorority girl wear underwear?
keep her ankles warm.
the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce?
everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.
does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her look more
the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
1500 went down on the Titanic.
are a woman's four favourite animals?
mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the
bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
don't women blink during foreplay?
don't have time.
do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
chases a woman until she catches him.
An advantage to being a
woman: We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
fashion faux pas we make could rival the Speedo.
least we don't fart to amuse ourselves.
talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically
picturing them naked.
Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention.
Cornelia Otis Skinner.
has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given
new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain
on the ground?
Shoot him again.
can you tell when a man is well-hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck
and the noose.
do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's
does a man keep his youth?
giving her money, furs, and diamonds.
Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
That’s a good idea…you stand by the ironing board while I sit on
the sofa and fart.
claim that they never pursue a man. Well, by the same token, a
mousetrap never pursues a mouse, but the end result is the same.
Training Courses for Women:
Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging.
Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire.
Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
Introduction to Parking.
Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space.
Water Retention: Fact or Fat?
Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter.
Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption.
Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
Your Problem . . . Not His.
Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To.
Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice.
Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
and Gas: Your Car Needs Both.
Remotes: For Men Only.
How to satisfy a
woman every time:
Caress, praise, pamper,
relish, savour, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade,
compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humour, placate,
stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle,
excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle,
smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply,
accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain,
charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige,
fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel,
ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate,
fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge,
polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear,
understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal,
climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue,
respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of,
promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole,
angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate,
enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite,
taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on
the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, mollycoddle,
hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop,
fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather,
mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle,
slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken,
undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead,
fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle,
amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go
back, Jack, and do it again and again and again and…...
to satisfy a man every time:
up naked with a six-pack.
Things only women understand:
- Cat’s/dog’s facial expressions.
- The need for the same style of shoes in seven different
- Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
- Fat clothes.
- Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
- The difference between beige, off-white, cream and
- Cutting your curls to make them grow.
- Eyelash curlers.
- The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
WORDS & GRAMMAR
damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.
is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill, rejecting the rule against ending a sentence
with a preposition.
Language is fascinating. The real names for things can be so
awful in English. Like 'penis' and 'scrotum'. Yecch. No wonder
they had to invent different words for them, like willies, bums,
of proper response by officials on 9-11 may have cost
realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a
am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
"I Do" is the longest.
Eskimo language has 80 different words for "snow" - probably all
misplaced my dictionary. Now I’m at a loss for words.
beginning there was the Word. And the word was Aardvark
African Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WORK & UNEMPLOYMENT
is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
(to Departmental Head): How many people work in your
Head: About half of them, sir.
- Gyles Brandreth.
Dobkins, I just don’t know what we’re going to do without
you. But we’re going to try.
hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of
incompetence ...in time every post tends to be occupied by an
employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is
accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their
level of incompetence.
Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle.
grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people:
those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me
to try to be in the first group; there was much less
Work is the curse of the
- Oscar Wilde.
expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Northcote Parkinson, Parkinson’s Law, 1957.
the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that
one’s work is terribly important. If I were a medical man, I
should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his
idleness. It is a rust that attaches itself to the most
brilliant of metals.
confuse motion with action.
don't know that there are any shortcuts to doing a good job.
Sandra Day O'Connor
secret of joy in work is contained in one word: excellence. To
know how to do something well is to enjoy it.
who work sitting down get paid more than people who work
in an office at 244 Madison Avenue,
say to myself You have a responsible job, havenue?
neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of
course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
can't stand about here doing nothing. People will think we're
that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson.
number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division
of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General
White-Out has called for a new skirmish.
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing
James Matthew Barrie.
supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and
a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your
always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by
expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
Northcote Parkinson, 1958 [Parkinson’s Law]
pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
really want something in life you have to work for it. Now
quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
ended the job as he began it; fired with enthusiasm.
idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your
worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
should not confuse your career with your life.
people quit looking for work when they find a job.
buy - consume - die.
your boss's boss off your boss's back.
last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong.
fired with enthusiasm because he wasn’t fired with enthusiasm.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
not unemployed... I'm a consultant.
live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out,
just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the
house down with us trapped, locked in it.
this world is another planet's hell.
- the lunatic asylum of the solar system.
Samuel Parker Cadman.
that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle.
the world's a
love to change the world, but I can't find a big enough diaper.
world is a lunatic asylum run by its inmates.
say the world will end in fire;
say in ice.
what I have tasted of desire,
with those who favour fire.
all on a spaceship and that spaceship is Earth. Four billion
passengers - and no skippers.
an optical illusion about the world growing smaller. It’s merely
that the new artillery has a longer range.
If you want to test your
memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago
- E. Joseph Cossman.
the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love
and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to
call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll
forget my number.
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief
respites are called panic.
often gives a small thing a big shadow.
nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man! Oh
the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are!
looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its
Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook.
are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth's creatures, the worrying
animal. We worry away our lives.
Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail.
difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that
Theodore N. Vail.
number one is, don't sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is,
it's all small stuff.
human thing is of serious importance.
Plato, The Republic.
peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but gets you
not writing - that’s typing.
Writing a book is an adventure: it begins as an amusement, then
it becomes a mistress, then a master, and finally a tyrant.
most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in shock-proof
Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of
paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.
There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a
typewriter and open a vein.
Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith.
many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped,
self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come
back in. This is too much of a temptation for the editor.
working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and
took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.
returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because
someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at
English professor, Ohio University.
to leave out the parts that people skip.
Don't tell me the moon
is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
- Anton Chekhov.
- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a
dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the
hands of one who knows how to combine them.
synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.
this letter is so long, I didn't have time to write a shorter
you are describing,
shape, or sound, or tint;
state the matter plainly,
put it in a hint;
learn to look at all things,
sort of mental squint.
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll).
Writing comes more easily if you have something to say.
best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes.
want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's
read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to
editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and
then prints the chaff.
Adlai Stevenson, You Said a Mouthful.
editors are failed writers - but so are most writers.
most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof
shit detector. This is the writer's radar and all great writers
have had it.
Ernest Hemingway, interview in Paris Review, Spring 1958.
Writing is utter solitude, the descent into the cold abyss of
use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.