AQUARIUS: You have an inventive
mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal, but on the
other hand make the same mistakes again and again. Basically, everyone
thinks you’re a twit.
PISCES: You have a vivid imagination and often think you’re being followed
by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence over good friends. You lack
confidence and you’re generally a coward and STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE. Pisces
people screw animals.
ARIES: You’re a pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You’re quick
tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. A simple asshole.
TAURUS: You are practical and persistent, you have dogged determination and
work like hell. Most people think you’re stubborn and bull-headed. You are
basically nothing but a goddamned communist.
GEMINI: You are quick, intelligent and a thinker. People like you because
you are bi-sexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. That
means you’re nothing but a cheap S.O.B. and thrive on incest.
CANCER: You are sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems.
They think you’re a sucker. You are always putting things off; that’s why
you’ll always be on welfare and worth nothing.
LEO: You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you’re a pushover.
Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves and kiss mirrors a lot.
VIRGO: You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and fall asleep
while doing IT. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA: You are the artistic airhead type and have a difficult time with
reality. All Librans are gay and die of venereal disease.
SCORPIO: You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve
the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios
are disposed of violently.
SAGITTARIUS: You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless
tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of you are
drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a lot since you always appear to
CAPRICORN: You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You’re basically
a chicken drop-out. Capricorns should avoid standing sill for long periods
as they tend to draw pigeons. You should get rid of yourself.
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